in three easy steps-
1.get really, really drunk, and get with some random guy, cos you feel so worthless anyway, it doesnt really matter.and you feel so icky that you just want someone else to kind of cover the way you are feeling about the guy that abused you.I know there is no logic, but i just wanted to feel different i think. Guess what?it just makes you feel even more skanky and worthless.Especially when they ask how you ended p with stitches in your tummy.
2.call your mum in desperation of just wanting soebody to alk to and make it feel better.duh.really should have thought that one through a bit more. Mum asked if i wanted her to renew my (very lapsed) weight watchers membership for my birthday.thanks mum.
3.Binge/purge, purge some more, SI...more stitches.well bloody done.which just makes you feel even more worthless.
i have been spectaculary stupid once again.a bit of an on going theme.
and i got a letter today from St Georges that i have to take to my doc for medical clearance for the course.whole page of mental health questions, and mydoc can tick 90% of the boxes.shite. goodbye uni.
jeez i really am the most depressing person. my blog makes such happy reading.you know, i think im gonna print it off and give it to home treatment team, cos i obviouslycant talk to them about anything useful.
thanks for all the lovely comments
i love everyone xxx
Irregular Choice Festive Footwear 2022: Day 20
3 years ago
Posts
5 comments:
<3 <3 <3 <3
I have nothing helpful or mind blowing to say, so I will just let you know that I am thinking of you lots, and I know you can get through the pain.
support and hugs,
Ellie
xxx
me too, I'm thinking of you vics! Sorry it's so hard for you right now and huge huge huge hugs!
Sarah xx
Sweetheart, you are one of the bravest people i have ever come across.
I am thinking of you and sending love constantly.
Jennifer xxoo
**huge hugs** I'm so, so sorry you're going through this right now. Please take care of yourself--you are not stupid and you are not worthless. You are sick and have been hurting really badly lately. Don't give up on university yet and even if you aren't able to go now, you will get there.
xoxo
Oh lovely Vic...I hate to think of you going through all of this. Like Jessie says, you are not stupid or worthless, far from it. In hard times it is difficult not to fall back on old coping mechanisms. Tomorrow is a new day, every day is a new day, a fresh hope and the potential for something better.
Please try and take care.
Hugs
Sarah x
Post a Comment