arg
withdrawel making me feel unhinged.well i was probably that anyway, but even more so
if i dont take some meds NOW i think im going to lose it
I couldnt even go to my mums funeral.
memorial just made me feel worse for being such a shit daughter
I feel so hideously fat. I feel like the fat freak of freakville or something, lost amongst all the beautiful people.and i shouldnt care, but i do.fat fat fat.arg.
i want to cut so bad right now.so so so bad.just let it out somehow a little.
or anything
fuck it.who am i to judge my mum when i feel exactly the same way.
Irregular Choice Festive Footwear 2022: Day 20
3 years ago
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2 comments:
You are definitely not a shit daughter. The memorial you planned for your mum was so beautiful and I think that right there shows how much you care for her. And I think it's horrible that your stepfather wouldn't let you go to the funeral--but that's not your fault, it's his.
Can you call the home treatment team or your doctor and let them know how your feeling with the meds. Maybe you should stay on them for a couple more days or so just so you can have some stability through this time. I'm freaking out without mine and I don't have to deal with all that you're going through now.
Cutting won't make it better in the end. It won't help this go away and sadly there's nothing that will magically do that. But the one thing that's certain is that cutting won't help in the long run even though it feels like what you need now. Each time you resist that urge, you will get a little bit stronger and it will be easier the next time. And each time you don't give in I think you are honoring your mum by not letting this disease take another person. That's what she would have wanted.
xoxo Huge hugs and love!
Vics, usually I would advocate listening to medical professionals about such things but anyone who says that SSRIs don't have withdrawal effects is wrong. Withdrawal can be horrific - I have a friend who jumped off a bridge after coming off of prozac cold turkey, and I ended up in hospital last time I changed meds. There are a lot of withdrawal effects ranging from extreme emotional instability, worse self harm urges and suicidal ideation, weird 'electric shock' feelings in your head, nausea, shaking, panic attacks, hallucinations...please please please call the home treatment team and tell them how you're feeling, ask if you can come off your meds more slowly. This is the last thing you need to put yourself through at the moment <3
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