hmn, other self indulgent wastes of time probably includes this entire post, but, hey just to mix it up a bit, il write it anyway. (haha just looked at what i just typed-typo in every word!!)
Time is an annoying little bugger.sometimes it goes so slowly, it makes you want to shoot yourself, just so you would have some mess to clear up. Other times it goes so fast and leaves you super stressed, and wondering if you actually have time to breathe, blink, and other essential life processes.And its always easy to 'forget' to eat when you have no time.
see, thats the thing i cant get my head around-this food malarky. yeh, people eat. but i dont see how people eat for pleasure, like its some sort of social activity. Ok, so i know that people are supposed to eat, its just that my brain doesnt connect that means me too. it just seems so...self indulgent. and wrong. i dont want all that food churning around in my stomach. i dont want it making me fatter and fatter, and making me feel so weak willed. BUT. Neither do I want to live with all this miserable stress about food anymore.
I just cant get my head around the fact that needing to eat isnt something i should be ashamed of.its not like some sort of dirty little secret-like, 'oooooh guess what i saw, that vicki girl was EATING!!' and i can write that. But truth be told-well i dont beleive it.
xxx
Irregular Choice Festive Footwear 2022: Day 20
3 years ago
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2 comments:
Wow you are powering through those credits! There is no shame in eating...we need food to stay alive after all ;)
Sarah x
Unfortunately with eating disorders you can't change the beliefs and anxiety without first changing the behaviours :( which is a bitch because it'd be much easier to recover if you could do it the other way around! The feelings of shame and discomfort go away once you've faced them day after day for a while. I used to feel the same way, and I don't anymore. I enjoy eating but it certainly isn't the focus of my life these days. It is definitely possible :)
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