xxl

i feel totally tortured by my eating disorder. My head is killing me.

im so preoccupied by weight. Im so fat and i look hideous at the moment- so many photos of me looking xxl and then some. i hate it that i care so much. and i hate that i spend my whole life thinking about what i can and cant eat, and how much i weigh.

Rock in a hard place

I think someone threw a wet blanket of depression over me. I'm so tired I can't find the energy to do anything. This is unfortunate, given that I am 1. On placement and 2. Currently writing my dissertation and 3. Have a horse that desperately needs schooling. 

Shit.

If only I could find the energy to wake up a bit, I might be able to summon up the motivation to do something about this.

In the meantime, I think I might just go back to bed. It's only 11 hours before I have to be back on placement and that is already a shortfall in my current need of around 23 hours snooze time.

Double shit.