Ok, so i cant actually do anything about my mum. What happens will happen whether i am there or not, whether i get upset and SI, ir whether i just try and get on with things-it will enevitably happen anyway.
so
this is all the stuff thats going on and stressing me out right now.
1.mum
2.my whole benefit situation is STILL all screwed up.
3.Home treatment team-i think, after there whole policy of 'talking about it=dwelling on it=unhealthy' was put in place they are actually making me feel worse, cos now i think i have to keep it all inside again, and that its not safe to talk about it. But if i say i dont want to see them anymore then im going to be discharged from the entire system, making it even harder to maybe get some counselling-cos down here EVERYTHING goes through referal from mental health services and a CPN.
4.I cant help thinking i would be better off in hospital. Im having a lot of problems with SI
5.I dont know how to get out of my hole of gloom anymore
6.I havnt slept properly for about a week now and i think its making me feel even more crazy.
7.uni.i have to talk to them about the medical clearance but im so scared.It was ind of my way out of this whole mess-new start and that and i cant deal with losing that. And i have so much college work to do also, but i have the concentration span of an amoeba.
8.i feel ginormously fat.i want to lose weight. see, technically, according to my bmi, im overweight anyway.like fact. and you can see i am. so i want to lose weight, but i dont want ed to make me lose weight. but i dont know which is me, and which is it now. How pro recovery is that. not.
9.there was more, but writing this is making me feel rubbish.
i think my goldfish are getting horny again. Jealous mucho! you know youve got issues when your bloody fish have more of a life than you hahaha
Irregular Choice Festive Footwear 2022: Day 20
3 years ago
Posts
3 comments:
I just want you to know I'm here and thinking of you if you need to talk. You can email me anytime! I wish I could say more to help but I can't think of what else to say but that I wish things would get better for you! Send you huge enormous Ziggy hugs!
Sarah xx
That's a really good idea to list all these things logically. Also as well to admit that there are lots of things you can't control/do anything about. What you need now I guess is some kind of coping strategy that makes the ED/SI redundant, and this is the sort of thing that bloody useless home treatment team should be helping you with. Gah damn them.
Maybe break each list item down into manageable chunks? I sometimes find it helps to subdivide individual problems into smaller ones...
Sarah x
*hugs*
Making a list is a good start, and it's often difficult to make a list when you've got so much going on, so I think you've already achieved something for today and you should give yourself a big hug and enjoy the sunshine to celebrate making your list.
Love, Petal xo
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