tomorow is going to be my mums funeral. Apparantly, in spain, Saturday is quite a Holy day (my mum is Catholic), though i'm not shy why so. But it was arranged for saturday because apparantly that was what she wanted. The funny thing is-i've just been told the funeral plans by my stepdad. a really terse conversation, with him constantly re iterating how unwelcome i was to be there. I never did get on with my stepdad.But i also never thought he would stop me from going to my own mums funeral. He told me about the flowers, and the music, all very traditional. So NOT my mum. see-the other thing we have in common is our love for truly crap music.Im talking boybands, 90's pop, anything cheesy-if its cringe worthy and horrific-well you can gaurentee one of us had it on a playlist!
heres what she would have wanted-
'rescue me' by Fontella Bass
'daydream believer' by the moinkees
'dont need the sun to shine' by gabrielle
and something amazing by take that/spice girls/backstreet boys or similar
sunflowers, whitle lillies and orchids. NOBODY wearing black.we have the same views regarding bright clothing! Blueberries, triglets and diet coke.my mums staple foods. the odd glass of pinot griogio.
she would want 'if' by rudyard kipling read out.and the odd richard gear poster on the wall.
so thats what im going to do.I dont need to be there to honour my mum. I just really hope that she died knowing that i did love her, despite everything that was in the way. KIt hurts me to my bones that she didnt know that, didnt know that i understood her illness, it just made me so angry that SHE couldnt see. its too late now.
so i couldnt get any sunflower seeds-couldnt find any!but im going to plant them another day for her.I got some orchid bulbs, and ive got some candles.ive got a copy of 'if'. Im going to get some blueberries and a bottle of pinot G and have a glass in the sun. and watch the candles melt away. And really hope with all ive got that she knows im thinking about her
xxx
thankyou for all the help with my food post x
Irregular Choice Festive Footwear 2022: Day 20
3 years ago
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3 comments:
vic I think this is lovely. When my friend died about 5 years ago, I did a very similiar thing, on my own with candles and I just thought of him and all the funny things we did together and I talked to him too, just told him how I missed him and that I hoped he knew that. I'm thinking of you babe, so don't forget to be gentle with yourself this weekend.
*hugs*
Sarah
vic this sounds so beautiful and i am so glad you are doing this. i love "if" and ill be thinking of you!!!
be kind to yourself and know that us bloggers are all there with you in spirit.
i love you new blog layout, very pretty!
kia kaha
arohanui
lou
What you're doing does sound lovely and I'm sure she iknows that you are thinking of her. It's unfortunate that your stepdad isn't planning the funeral according to how she wouldve wanted it. But that doesn't mean you can't remember her how you want, like you're doing.
Take care,
Cassie x
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