i feel like im drowning in fog

im just so worn out with it all.

Waiting for commissioners report...

So, my clinic psychologist has now applied for funding for me to go to one of 3 places for a short stabilisation stay- for 6-8 weeks, then back to my current outpatient team. So we are looking at Care UK's Ashleigh house in Gloucester, Naomi ward at the York retreat or the ED ward at south west London and maudsley hospital( because we have to list an NHS service provider. V unlikely that they will have space as their ward is full and primarily for anorexia also- but they do take BN patients, unlike my local ward). My preference is for either of the first- and especially Naomi ward because they specialise In PTSD treatment alongside the ED management/treatment which is what I need. My admission to my local ward 2 years previously was difficult because they didn't understand howy PTSD was triggered, and how to help with the flashbacks- and maudsley are very similar in the way they work- they share the docs etc. and there is a higher proportion of BN sufferers in these 3 places which I frankly, think would be better for me. Having said that- I'm happy with anything I'm offered right now.

Has anyone been to any of these places?

going IP again

My local eating disorder service ( also a national referal centre and supposed centre of clinical excellence) now ONLY provides IP services for anorexia. WTF?!

My clinical psychologist and Go have now refered me for a second opinion from another service with the view of accessing IP services. They have also applied to primary care funding for me to go to independent treatment clinics - Priory, Ashleigh house (Care UK) and Hunterscombe. Because my local service cannot provide the care that has been recomended - a short term IP stay for stablisation and to allow my ribs to heal, and the recomendations also fit with NICE guidelines, i should be approved for funding.

I feel really ill right now. So lost and overwhelmed with it all. ANd its like no one understands how bad it is, and all i seem to be getting right now is grief from people, and and my friends at uni just dont get it. literally had enough.

Doesnt help that im also insanely sleep deprived after being up literally all night writing stupid uni assignment. Everyone else is out celebrating handing it in, and im at home in a soggy mess, because i just seem to be permenently in tears.

dumping ground

i feel like i am the dumping ground for everyone elses shit right now. and i have so had enough of it.