sod it, im going to Japan!

 Last night i got to the end of my bow ribbon. like had had enough with bells on top. So i called the out of hours helpline, attatched to the MHT, and my favourite person ever was working!just what i needed:)

I spoke to her a lot over last summer, when i was seeing the Crisis team-shes a CPN, and shes super duper cool! and she really understands and listens, she was the first person i ever really trusted to tella bout what had happened to me, and about mum, after i got all that crap at LIverpool. And she stayed on the phone to me for hours and just let me talk and talk. so basically i think shes brilliant. and we ALWAYS end up talking about bows, clothes, toby maguire, moomins, and how cool it would be to have glittery rollerskates instead of feet.

Anyway she said something last night that made me feel a bit teary.

'we're both brilliant.And the only difference between you and me Vic, is that I believe that and you dont yet.But you will flower, because you ARE. So when Im having a bad day, I can realise that its not because im crap, its just that im feeling that way because of A..B..C, and its not actually me thats rubbish.You have to tell yourself your brilliant, like your friends would. You have to realise thats its ok to be affected by things, and not think it makes you any less brilliant. Cos thats the only different Vic, we are both Big losers, but the coolest kind there is!'

'No one should make you feel that you have to lock your secrets away and keep them in your head, and its ridiculous that you have been told tto just move on.Its all still there for you to come back to when you feel strong enough, and in the meantime you should never feel guilty for enjoying yourself.

and failing that Vic...Sod it you can always jut move to japan!!!

Haha she rekons my 'craetivity, moomin love and general loopiness would be greatly appreciated in Japan!