i thought writing something might help me feel better, i thought it might help me to make sense of it all.upside down and inside out.thats me.
i dont know what to say anymore. My mum used to always like to define the end of something.had cut off points for everything, the littlest things. Stuff was started and finished.simple.no messy inbetweens.
I just want an end point. Any ending will do.either way. just an end.
I dont know what this is anymore. it started as a story of recvery, and now i think its a story of defeat.sometimes you win, but enevitably you lose too. i guess either ways an end.
media player has started playing u2's 'stuck in a moment'
how appropriate
xxx
Irregular Choice Festive Footwear 2022: Day 20
3 years ago
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4 comments:
This is still a story about recovery, Vics, and don't let yourself believe that it isn't. You've overcome so much, that honestly I think it's so incredible. And you will get through this too. I know it seems so hard right now and like there is nothing to hope for, but I think about the post you wrote about you and your friend and about all the beautiful things you post on your other blog, and I know that you will be able to enjoy these things again. What's so hard is that when you have these times, it seems like there is no end and that things will never get better. But what I've discovered is that there are time when you do feel better. Every day that you've kept on going is a huge victory.
I know exactly what you mean about wanting some kind of ending, any ending. I've felt like this so often. But I think what I've realized is that there are no real endings in life. Life is just one messy in-between, and this is one of the hardest things for me to deal with. But it's the way life is, and it's that way for everyone. And it's full of little victories even if there are no neat endings.
I'm thinking about you. Take care of yourself. You don't deserve to feel this way and you don't deserve to be in such a shitty situation.
I am sending you some post mail tomorrow vic, this is a story of recovery... sending so much light and serenity,
follow the bliss
you are going through some pretty tough things and you are taking care of yourself and me aswell, thanks for always suporting me through it all vics, your such a great person. Baby steps remember.
this is a recovery blog.
I can always feel how much you really want it.
keep on keeping on
Nobody is defeated while they are still alive Vics <3 because there is always the potential for change, however awful things are and however low you feel. I agree with Lou Lou that it always sounds like you really want this, and that is the most important thing. It's hard to see if you're making progress, standing still or going backwards sometimes when you're in the middle of it because things change so slowly, but an accumulation of baby steps makes a huge difference. Hang in there <3 just keep going and keep trying to reach out.
This is and always has been/always will be a recovery story about a strong and vibrant young woman who has met many challenges, yet continues to fight bravely. Every recovery story has it's difficult times, but this just makes the final taste of victory even more sweet.
You will get there vics - keep writing and keep fighting :-)
Lots of hugs
Sarah x
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