Brain training for beginners!

I'ts just occured to me that I havnt a clue what is going on in the world right now. Like, literally there could be a war on my doorstep (the Cornish National Party vandalising the 'fresh' counter in tesco for wrongly using the term 'cornish pasty' doesnt count, this happens all the time!) and i wouldnt know.
That makes me feel pretty bad actually, i mean, self absorbed or what! On the other hand, there is nothing I couldnt tell you about any of the following- PBL(if you dont know what this is, i am beyond jealous, so dont ask!), Human muscle anatomy, the latest on the 'jordan and peter break up', whats been happening in 'skins', the first few chapters of 'getting better bit(e) by bit(e)', the latest issue of  Vogue, the Topshop/motelrocks websites and St Georges Uni prospectus.

Sot the useful ones in that! I mean, obviously, aparty from Jordan and Peter!actually I couldnt care less about them ,bt somehow the knowledge infiltrates its way into my brain...anyway I digress!as per usual.

The point i was vaguely trying to make is that I think I need to do some Brain training, considering the nearest ive got to a broadsheet over the past couple of years is Vogue :p

Bt now im confused about what flipping paper to read!As natuatally drawn to scanal papers as i feel, i think these should be avoided. I want to be one of those intelligent (albeit annoying)people that take up an extra seat on tht tube with their massive paper. But which one?! I always thought their was a secret code to what paper you read, like tories read this, Bush supporters read that etc etc

this doesnt really help me an awful lot. Ok, I have this bizarre lefty kinda belief, and i like the idea of communism-im not saying im a communist mind!-but i can see how it doesnt work and leads to mahussive problems, but yknow in an ideal world, share the wealth, even distribution is kinda a good idea...i just think you need someone sensible in charge! So i guess you could say i had vaguely lefty views.What should i be reading??

though, i have to admit, im a crap voter, and i panic, go...ooooh i dont know il just vote lib dem!!ooopsy.

sometimes, i really have no idea where the rubbish i write comes from!
time to go catch rain to London soon!

thanks for all your good luck/congrats messages!

xxx