100 things :)

 Feeling inspired by reading Lou Lou's and Brie's list, i'm afraid i contracted copycat-itis and made my own list! Plus a big nudge from Lou to write my own:)

1. wear a great big bow everyday that it still makes me giggle!

2.go to moomin land.obviously.

3.learn how to use the punctuation and shift keys on my keyboard!

4.have ballet lessons

5.wear whatever i want, just because, without caring what anyone thinks

6.get a smoothie maker instead of just thinking about what a good idea it would be

7.go to bristol to visit dl

8.support someone the way i have been supported recently:)

9.get over my grudge with jobcentre plus and benefit system

10.become an advocate for people that have similar problems with benefits and getting Ed help

11.forgive and forget, but when im ready to do it

12.finish my college course!

13have another bash at uni

14.become a physiotherapist

15.start teaching riding again

16.help out with riding for the disabled again.

17.appreciate how pretty cornwall is, instead of moaning about how boring and isolated it is

18.learn to dive

19.get over fear of jellyfish to enable me to do 18

2a part time job in truro fabrics

21.i really want to get involved with the charity that helps homeless young people, because its such a frightening situation to be in.

22.donate lots of money and help oganise activities for young people in the YMCA, because this hostel saved my life.

23.go to paris, so i can at least expand my range of dodgy french words!

24.to a creative writing course

25.learn the proper way to sew a zip on

26.ditto casting on with 2 knitting needles

27.finish my anatomy coursework in the very near future!

28.establish a healthier routine for myself.try and get up at same time every day.

29.learn that drinking makes things ten times worse.

30.boys are rubbish.but i will find someone fabulous if i look in the right places!

31.do something fun with my mum

32.go to spain so i ca give my dog a big hug!

33.go and visit my bro in california

34.go to Russia with dl so we ca do our viva la soviet thing!

35.watch my cousin dance at covent garden

36.reform the spice girls tribute band!

37.write a 'how to keep your sanity guide' for anyone moving to cornwall.trust me, its well needed!

38.get better at surfing.

39.be an eco warrier.make compost.recycle everything.not have such long showers all the time.

40.be better with money

41.grow my own veg:)

42.i really want to start a funky version of WI.so like younger women, doing groovy crafty things, making wicked clothes, and kitschy stuff, that kind of thing. Theres one in camden in London and i want to start a group similar wherever i end up!

43.learn to cook.toaster skills dont count

44.try new foods

45.eat out in a restarant without panicking

46.get 'cliniqued'

47.compete in the prix st george dressage champs

48.learn better ways to cope.not want to binge and purge.keep more accurate food diaries, even if i feel awful writing it.

49.learn to relax and just sit with the moment.yoga maybe!

50.tell lots of people how truly brilliant they are!

51.enjoy doing my degree and try not to be so scared about it

52.get guinea pigs again

53.go and visit my nan

54.try and find a way to have a relationship with my mum, that doesnt have anything to do with ED.i want to really find out who she actually is under it all, becasue i dont think ive ever seen it.

55.Jump the 'christmas olympia' stakes wall

56.compete in the shetland grand national!

57.get a pair of old skool roller skates, paint them sparkly pink and wear them all the time!

58.have my own boutique:) will be fabulous and covered in bows:)

59.sell some of the things that i make

60.start my ebay shop again-custom made one off designs for dresses.

61.fall asleep on a lilo in a swimming pool

62.marry toby maguire

63.failing that find a close second!

64.learn how to make 'home made things'-like jam, chutney, cakes etc instead of buying them from m and s and pretending i made them!

65.have a yoghurt and vanilla bean smoothie tap in my house

66.have children

67.start up a victim support and advocacy group for young women who are abused, and cannot find support.

68.be a healthy weight-and accept that this wont be eds version of healthy-but schucks to that!

69.get a vespa moped, get it sprayed so it looks vintagey pink and ride it everywhere!

70.see more of my friends

71.get a massage.

72.get rid of all the stuff i bought back form liverpool

73.write a list of all the things that make me happy, and i feel thankful for, and put it somewhere i will see first thing in the morning.

74.own a house with land for the ponies!dont want much eh?

75.have enough money that i dont have to worry constantly about buying milk etc

76.get the scar on my tummy lasered because it really bothers me.

77.go camping by the sea

78.try on a vera wang ball gown

79.go into harrods, pretend am getting married and am very rich, and try on all dresses!

80.write a letter to owner of topshop and tell him, that-in the real world, women rang more in size than just needing a 10 or 12!

81.go and visit/ride all of my old ponies.sam especially!

82.teach at pony club camp

83.dye my hair pink

84.start or join a book group

85.raise awareness that ed's can affect anyone, and that more help is needed for people trying to recover.

86.start like a email service thing, where people struggling about si/Ed can email, let it off their chest, and i can reply, talk about what helped me to get better, and advise them about getting help.like, if you felt horrible urge to si, could try emailing to see if letting it out would help.could get a few people together to help with replies etc.

87.get to the top of 'the tree of confidence'-see pic at the side of my blog

88.have a clothes room!

89.learn how to do proper makeup.oooh.

90.be happy than i am now

91.beleive that i can be better, and well, and i dont have to let history repeat itself

92.have a pet cow.called ermintrude.

93.go on safari and see elephants

94.if i insist on buying ridiculous shoes, find someone who can teach me to walk in them!

95.have tea with cath kidston!

96.go and see kings of leon live-in  Nashville!

97.watch the couture shows at London and Paris fashion weeks

98.accept that some things were the only thing to do at the time.i dont have to beat myself up for trying to do the best for me at the time.

99.remember its ok to put myself first if i need to.

100.stop thinking how to end my life, and concentrate on living it and enjoying it!

ammendment-im not sure which to replace-so-

101.pinch one of those roadsigns with the cows on it.inexplicably, i have always wanted one.