extremly useful things, yeh?!well, thats about how useful and able to help myself i feel at the moment.
incidently, someone once bought me a chocolate teapot-i use that saying a lot.Obviously i didnt eat it, but i was always sorely tempted to brew tea in it :)
a couple of apologies.sorry for the many many posts today.please dont feel you have t read/comment on all my witterings, and i promise soon i will stop going on and on and on about how much i hate jobcentre plus. and on that note-im sorry for how self indulgent i am being at the moment-again feel free to tell me to 'get on with it'.Writing on here helps me to think things out.
ooh id like a chocolate caffitiere!:)
heres the thing.
i've just lost the plot a bit, binged and eaten my weeks supply of food.oops.this could be a problem, but one i am chosing to ignore right now.Incidently (i like this word today) isnt it a complete ....(insert swear word) that ED is loving this, and encouraging me to start restricitig hardcore, cos well i might as well-well thats what Ed is telling me, its loving this whole situation.
I made myself sick and threw up a ton of blood again, like, a lot. so im not feeling that great right now.
Ed is giving me grief, im giving me grief for being so pathetic. I mean im not the only one who has this crap, so why cant i just get it together and sort it out, instaed of moping.its soo hard, but its not like anyone is going to help anyway, so i should just get on with it. so then Ed gives me more grief.
ive put on weight-this is probably fron all the cheapo stodge food ive had to eat, so figures, but still makes me feel wobbly.and why do i care anyway, im supposed to be getting better?
Im wearing a tracksuit.and no bow.this has never happened before.
i think i must have zoned out or something, because realised, just before stsrted to write this, that i had been sitting in the corner staring at my ceiling for a good 2 hours, hell knows what i was doing, i dont even know what i was thinking about.so that scares me a little.
I miss my best gal like hell at the moment, but im too scared to tell her whats happening, cos she has soo much going on herself.
im worried out of my mind about my other good friend.
raaaaaawr ive had ENOUGH
xxx
Irregular Choice Festive Footwear 2022: Day 20
3 years ago
Posts
3 comments:
arrg just read this back-really should do that before click publish button.
please please dont think i was writing this for sympathy, i just needed to let it out.
im sorry
xx
It's ok to use your blog to vent out all this stuff. You're going through a tough time and you need some space to write about it and make sense of it.
So sorry to hear about the binging/purging, but it's not the end of the world, you can get back on track...I think you should ring your friend, even if it's just for a friendly voice on the other end of the phone.
You deserve better than this unfortunate situation - hang in there...
Sarah x
Please, please, pleas take care of yourself! Don't let ED use this as an opportunity to sneak in and take over. I know things seem horrible right now, but you will get through this and things will get better!
It's totally ok to vent on your blog--it's your blog and that's what it's for. Sorry I didn't get to comment on this yesterday. Bad day. But I hope you are doing ok now and hanging in there.
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