are a bit messy. Just spoken to the crisis team, who are really great, and im feeling a bit more sorted now, but i dont really know what to do with myself-all i want to do is sleep, but sleep leads to bad times and gah.
im fed up of miserable ol me.and the bloody lonliness of it all!
before i big time 'lost the plot' so to speak, i used to do loads of things...i used to work, for a start, and not working is a major thing for me right now-but i also know that i wouldnt be winning any employee of the months awards right now...
I used to ride and play with my ponies, and get up to no good with my girls
i used to go for adventures with my best gal
and go surfing and roadtripping with my other gal
SHOCK HORROR but i think i used to also have a social life-althought to be fair, it did mostly involve going out and drinking a lot of kahlua to forget about my problems and alittle while
and sew and knit and cover everything with bows!
ok so i still do the sreative stuff, but it feels like everything lse went away all at once in one big hit, when i strted torying to fight ED.And now i feel scare dand overwhelmed by doing anything else anyway.
whats happened to me.I feel like im stuck in this limbo phase, between life and ED. I know that one day it will be ok, and one day i will be closer to where i want to be, i know that for sure...its just this long draggy never ending trying to cope days now that are wearing me down,All part of a process though!
And worth it to know that one day i will feel happier with myself, and happier with what im doing with my life
Just seriously though-it wont feel like this forever will it?like im playing that game you played at school when you were a kid - 'stuck in the mud'?
xxx
Irregular Choice Festive Footwear 2022: Day 20
3 years ago
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5 comments:
No it won't be like this forever hun :-)
You will rediscover what you used to enjoy, and, even better, you'll discover new things, hidden talents, exciting stuff!
With time and patience you will be rewarded for all your hard work...don't lose hope :-)
Sarah x
It won't feel like this forever. I know that I've so often felt the same way--like I have no life, nothing i want to do, no interest in anything. I'm only just starting to get my interest in things back and to go out and do some of the things I used to and enjoy them. So it will get better. It just takes time. Be patient with yourself and don't beat yourself up.
xoxo
I know how hard this part is. For years I just stayed at home and felt like I had this huge empty hole in me that nothing and no one could fill. This was before my ED and ED filled the hole for a while but it never seemed to get better. Then one day it just did get better and it was slow but I had to keep fighting and I used to get really tired. Having people around me really helped, even if it was just to watch a DVD or chat or go shopping. The busier I was, the better I felt. I couldn't have done it without the support I did have. Having the crisis care team is really good too, to help you stay on track when you feel like you're slipping. By the way, Ziggy sends you big Ziggy hugs!
*hugs*
Sarah
Just wanted to say that the limbo stage is normal. Sometimes it lasts for a while too. You're not alone and you WILL get to full recovery. I believe in you. Lean on your loves and creative hobbies for the time being...and just take one day at time. That's the secret. :)
I choose to believe that it won't be like this forever, because the alternative isn't really something I can deal with. I wish I knew what to say...how to make this better for you, for me, for anyone. But unfortunately I have more questions than answers. I want you to know though that you're not alone. You're in my thoughts, and I wish you the best. And I really do believe that there is hope for something more in life.
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