so you know things are going well when you find yourself having a nervous breakdown in a supermarket carpark...heaving sobbing, couldnt speak was horrible and i felt like i was losing it.just want to curl up in a ball and be invisible.So much has been happening lately and i guess its all just mounted up into this. i feellike a massive helpless wreck, ED keeps telling me im hideously fat and i cant eat, but i want to get better,but Ed feels stronger and i dont even know how to explain it.I want to hurt myself so bad but i dont think i can deal with the feelings of absolute self loathing afterwards yet again.arg.
When im going to hit a major depressive episode, theres all this signs that creep up on me.sleep becomes my main past time, which is a bit of a issue when sleep ends in flashbacks and panic attacks. My jaw and face aches-weird i know, i dont get it,i just notice that it always happens, and i get the worst headaches that dont go away.then i dont relise this all anymore, all of a sudded, cos im back in my hole of gloom.yay. so i try and figh and prevent this from happening, but it also ,akes me panic, thinking its going t happen, and that in itself probably sets me up for it.
sorry for yet another moan.I feel rubbish, but also dont want to pretend that im ok, cos it really doesnt do me anygood.
xxx
Irregular Choice Festive Footwear 2022: Day 20
3 years ago
Posts
3 comments:
aww girli hope o get toeeling better!! i know about the random panic attacks and anxiety. the strangest thigs like the supermarke seem to trigger mine and always,around food and how i feel about myself
awwww hun, I'm so so sorry you feel like this. I'm sorry I haven't responded earlier but it's been a little crazy here this weekend. I just want you to know that I really am thinking of you and hoping you're okay. I hate it when I feel like this and it just hurts so much and it's so hard to do anything at all and all you want to do is hurt yourself. I just want to send you a huge hug through cyber space and make you feel better again. By the way, Ziggy just whispered to me that your site is his favourite. He loves bows too. Huge huge huge hugs!
Sarah and Ziggy xx
Sorry to hear things are so tough...wish I was there to give you a hug and tell you it would all be ok. Things will get better, and I hope there are people around who you can go to for help and support.
Don't be alone at a time like this...you need to take care of yourself.
Sending positive vibes and hugs your way
Sarah x
Post a Comment