Its a bit of a long story, but i ended up in Liverpool the other day.chasing my past.good idea?well, im not sure. i went to wales with a friendfor a Uni open day-cos I thought it would be good distraction, we got major league lost on way home, wrong motorway, and bang-hello liverpool.
so i was thinking it would be a good idea, cos in my head, theres so much horribleness associated with the place, and well, i guess i thought it might take some of the taboo away, make it seem smaller.So i went around campus, and felt like i was chasing this ghost of me, where i lost me.i dont know, it helped and it didnt.i saw the road it happened on, the place where i went to that party, and the campus where my life was made hell. funnily enough, it doesnt make you very popular when you say that uni golden boy spiked you with lsd and then abused you.left you pregnant, accept you didnt know cos ED had taken over your life, and took all the signs away. and i was so naive and stupid anyway. and i thought this guy actually liked me when he came over and spoke to me at the party.i felt like maybe things could be different, and i felt so confident for a minte.well that all came crashing down.
I went back to the halls, the place i tried to OD when i coulnt take anymore and found that they had stored all the stuff i left there-i went home in a hurry, pretty much straight from hosp.
and now i have bags and boxes of my life back then.photos, diaries, letters.books and clothes and things i forgot existed.
il try and catch up on blogs later
xxx
Irregular Choice Festive Footwear 2022: Day 20
3 years ago
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6 comments:
That was brave of you to go back there and face your demons. I am in awe at how far you have come and all the hardships you have fought through.
I hope this visit helped to put some of those painful memories behind you.
Sarah x
I am in awe too. I couldn't have done that. I think that would have been the hardest thing to do. You really are an amazing person and I love reading what you write and it gives me the strength to push on.
*hugs*
Sarah
babe, you are one tough cookie.
you deserve to be so happy, and it is coming to you, you deserve every inch of happiness and support, it sounds like you have had to re-visit some really hard things, and i encourage you to seek support through this time, because we cant do this alone, cpns anything, you are the sweetest soul, and you can come out of this on top, i know you can, i believe in you vic
I'm so sorry for everything that happened to you there and I think it was really, really courageous of you to go back and to be willing to face everything and try and come to terms with it. Hopefully going back will help you in the long run and at least help you see that you've come so, so far because you have. You've overcome this far better than I think I ever could. Take care
**hugs**
thankyou all for your kind comments. Truth is, im in awe of alll of you-because i feel like im crumbling to pieces, and wasting my life away, and you are all so on your way to feeling better. i really appreciate your support and kind words, thankyou
xxx
I am falling to pieces all the time hun, last week was an epic fall apart week. I am in awe of you. I think you are amazing and you too are doing amazing things, even if you can't see it, we can :-)
*hugs*
Sarah
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