you can find comfort in the oddest places

if you look hard enough.

and sometimes, most of all in the most obvious ones, often overlooked.

I'm listening to boyzones greatest hits right now.ok, so thats not that unusual for me (and yes, thankyou, i know i have excellent taste in music), and i just found a photo of me and mum, one i never knew i even had. I've been starting to pack, sorting through my things ready to move after the courtcase, and it fell out of a diary. Maybe to remind me that she always was there afterall. sorting through a box of random 'stuff' and finding silly notes me and donna wrote to eachother from work. I found this top at the back of my cupboard. Its green, with a darker green flower print on it, and its really nice. It doesnt fit anymore (a slight mishap with a tumble-dryer), but its linked to so many things. My friend Nicky who bought it for me in the first place, when i was pretty damn miserable, to cheer me up. That i wore it all the time when i first moved to cornwall, until i lent it to my friend Hayley, who used to wear it when we went out. Its in the charity shop bag now, and thats ok, its done its bit for me. The things i bought back form Liverpool a while back-I can get rid of them now, and that feels good, comforting. I dont really know why, it just does. let it go. The tshirt we had to wear for freshers week, so the epic 'pubcrawl' placed could get signed off. The tshirt that i wore over my dress for a while at that party, before shoving it in my bag. its in the bin now.

Like i say, theres comfort in the oddest things. In routine, and in memories. i used to buy every boyzone single when they came out-on tape back in the day, i think i was about 9 or 10 when i got the first one lol, and i remember, mum on her better days singing along and dancing to it with me. Most of the memories i have of mum and me are not that great. weight, food and hospitals.Arguments, horses, and passing exams. but those times-i wouldnt trade that for the world.

This morning i got up, and felt like getting dressed up.Im not really sure why. Its all so familiar, straightening my crazy hair, smudging brown eyeliner, tugging a dress over my head, delving around for a matching hair bow.

i read this-


 http://welikenests.blogspot.com/2010/07/on-people-we-live-with-and-places-we.html 

and though it was so lovely. And i started sorting. Theres an odd sort of comfort in that.

you just have to hang on sometimes.