Its 3 am and im sitting in my hotel room listening to the same song over and over and over-Maroon 5 'she will be loved'. I used toplay that song, that album all the time when I was here. Now it feels like some sort of weird bittersweet comfort. I couldnt listen to it until earlier this year without being right back where it happened. Except now im actually back here.
I'm not doing so great right now.
Just being here, seeing places has triggered a whole lot of things i spent years trying to forget. seems you never really do. I cant even stand being here. I feel overwhelmed by suicidal thoughtts, Ed, and just a mush of all the rest of the shit that calls itself my life.its so exhausting.im tired of fighting and im tired of being brave.
Hello, breakdown. I've also been expecting you.
I need diazepam, wine and diet coke NOW. and maybe some ideas on how to make this go away.
Im not brave.I'm a wuss. And I want to do this for all the other girls out there they wont get the chance to fight their corner. this was never really about just me. but all the same-i cant, i really really cant.please someonetell me what to do.i'm ready to give up on life.
Irregular Choice Festive Footwear 2022: Day 20
3 years ago
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3 comments:
xoxo You can do this and you will get through it. It may not seem like it now, but you will. You are a very brave person and please know that I will be thinking about you constantly.
xoxo
^^ I think Jessie said it well.
Just hold on. All you have to do is hold on. Please? You can do this. Please take care - you are in my thoughts xxxxxxx
You can get through this. Please don't give up hope and know that you've got lots of people supporting you on here. We're all behind you 100%
Hugs
Sarah x
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