I feel like I am spending so much time trying to distract myself from thinking and feeling that I dont even feel like I'm living any kind of life-and whats the point in that. I guess there is a balance between dealing with things in a healthy way, and needing the distraction to prevent more destructive thoughts. But i also think that mental health professions almost seem to replace the meaning of 'distract' with 'avoid' which is only ever going to be counter productive. See, I get up in the morning, and what im supposed to do right now is spend the day doing 'enjoyable activities' to distract myself from the shit that is my life right now (yes, i am still feeling v sorry for myself).Ok, fine-but the more you desparately try to stop yourself thinking of these things, the moreit builds up, until i end up boiling over, and it ends in a really destructive way. I know, for me, what would help is talking about these things a little each day-not so much i get lost and overwhelmed by it more than i already am, but enough so my thoughts have had their airtime, and can just chill out for a while, yknow. My brain is a major pain in the arse, and hates not being listened to-however, give it its time, and it does tend to leave me be for a while. I know this helps me. And its driving me mad that HTT and out of hours, doctors, CPN's etc dont get this-avoiding my issues just makes it worse-they become 'the big murky ickyness that gets increasingly bigger and follows you around'-they becomea massive taboo in your head. But all i ever get told-if i try and talk about this things is to distract myself-ive soent years avoiding things and now i want to deal, and try and talk about things-or else im goingt o be saying it all pretty much for the first time IN COURT which i don think is a good move for my sanity.
I just think you need to be careful to distinguish between distracting yourself from maladaptive coping strategies and avoiding life.
But hey, what would i know, right?
Irregular Choice Festive Footwear 2022: Day 20
3 years ago
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You make a very valid point, and I think it's a really difficult balance to get right.
xxx
Good luck with the balance. If you want to air your brain out feel free to email me. I can't promise to be of any use whatsoever, but you can trust me to be confidential and, well, to listen.
You're right, though, about the balance between avoidance and distraction.
I really hope you are ok.
xx
I think this is so, so true. I've spent years with people telling me to go out and do things to try and take my mind of all the shit happening in my life or my mental health problems and there's nothing that is less helpful. Because it's impossible to go out and do fun things and take your mind off it all when it's the only thing you can think about. It's fine to go out and have a good time even when you're hurting but trying to force yourself to be happy and distracted and busy is just unrealistic and stupid.
And about your last post--you are absolutely right. There is nothing wrong with feeling sorry for yourself or feeling that you've been given a hard lot (and really you've had a pretty damn hard time of it). And good for you for not feeling guilty.
xoxo
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