Reminder :)

sorry, like 3rd post in 5 minutes!
Just a little reminder of why I'm sticking with this...recovery I mean...so sorry for the post repeat, but this is quite genuinly the most inspiring thing i have ever written for myseself, and heck, i even belive it...so cant be that bad!

"Anyhow i guess i was so busy feeling miserable that i forgot that, actually, I AM WORTH MORE THAN THIS! Binging, purging and restricting, self injury, this things all just make me feel like shit. And yeh, its a big part of me and the way i have learnt to cope...and il probably always be uncomfortable with my weight...

but il tell you something for nothing...

THIS IS NOT HOW MY LIFE IS GOING TO BE ANY FREAKING MORE!

im going to be exactly who i want to be, know matter how long it takes me to find out. And im going to go to uni wherever i want, and im going to do everything to make it a happy time for me.

you cant change the past, but neither should you have to live amongst its broken pieces either.

so, ok, im not going to morph into somebody i like and respect overnight, but im going to give it my all to get free from all this crap. I dont want to spend the rest of my life talking to doctors and out of hours services, and i dont want to have to go to A and E and feel im wasting their time with something i did to myself...They were really nice though last night, have to say. i've had some crap getting treatment for SI wounds before, but everyone last night was really good, and spoke to me like i was someone who actually, like had feelings, and a functional brain, which makes a change. I freaked out big style when the surgeons came to check me over, but the registrar doc was lovely, stayed and spoke to me like i was someone that mattered.

Hmn, maybe thats because...shock horror-i am someone who matters."

Cheers

xxxx