This is the me part of 'me', and This is the ED part of me
Arrrrrg i cant do this.
I cant stand me right now, i wish i could just step out of my skin, and crawl away. I'm moody, and down, and a complete stresshead, im horrid to everyone i care about, im messing up big style cos i cant sort my life out, im losing this battle because im too too scared of talking about everything thats upset me, all the baggage that ED has carried for me. Its like its all been chucked back at me, BANG in one go, and i cant handle it, but i cant handle ED'S rules either. I HATE Ed, but im feeling too backed into a corner to find some space for me. The thing is i cant even find the words to start talking so i just float along, hoping it will all go away. Being thin wont make me happier-i know that, i do, I DO, But the feeling im being pulled back to that, falling into the safety net is so consuming right now.
Recovery is all about how you pick yourself up from the slips and trips right?but what about if you cant figure out how to do that? Theres so much more that i could do with my life, but at the moment it just doesnt seem possible. I guess its all about picking yourself up. giving yourself another chance, and not waiting until tomorow to give it a damn good shot.
xxx
Irregular Choice Festive Footwear 2022: Day 20
3 years ago
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2 comments:
You express my own thoughts so well!!! ;) I'm so sorry you're struggling now. I'm feeling the same way. The safety net is so comforting, but damn, it really gets me nowhere. I'm just tired of battling. But that's how it goes I guess. Gotta remember you are worth the fight! Hang in there.
hi!!
it sounds as though you are having a difficult day, me too actually, it is so hard to be kind to everyone else when we are feeling so bad ourselves, dont beat yourself up, people need people. and its really hard, i push everyone away when i ned them the most, i explained this to them and now they understand a little better.
hope you feel better. and just look at your wall with all your motivations.
maybe call a friend.
loubie
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