I got an offer from Brunel University today! for next sept, to study physio!yehaaaa i made it!
and im going to try really hard not to freak out about feeling like im not going to be well enough, or in the right head space, and how far il have to move if i go there (still waitng to here from other choices).
Im going to just chill out!!
yeh right....!ha actually is making me feel v positive about things-Recovery is going to mean so much to come for me!
happy!
xxx
Irregular Choice Festive Footwear 2022: Day 20
3 years ago
Posts
4 comments:
congratulations!!!! thats so fantastic!
Recovery means Re-gaining our lives back.
and the possibilities are endless! the world is your oyster girl.
aww thanks! xo
Congrats babe...you will be great!! You CAN be great and it's gonna be fab for you!! :)xoxoxo
Im replying to your most recent post, but on a different post, becasue i feel its gunna be a long one, and yep. thats just what im doing.
ok so i know exactly what your going through.
the wak up and ... fuck it i fucked up yesterday, i am just gunna push on thru, and then tomorrow maybe ill change or something or restrict or something.. who knows what the devil ED is whispering to you but its like that for me.
i spent 6 weeks straight every single day binge purge all day. like i swear i was in the bathroom 20 times per day now this is the worst it has ever ever ever been for me. and 2 weeks ago i just decided . fuck this, and did the meal plan. because even tho my ED doesnt want to do the meal plan, im sure it can't harm me any more than all this binge bahaviour is.
somehow im managed to just keep going, hanging on a thread on a few days, and your comment was so amazing, i swear this blog pulls me out, but more so it was your comments. so thank you.
i know it feels like you are trapped.
do you live with people.
can you try and set up an intervention plan for yourself.
i dont know im just babbling ideas.
but maybe you could start each morning with a routine and a person to aide you for the first while.
use your blog as a tool for a while.
i know that i never bother having a shower when i first wake up when im bingeing, maybe you could wake up, have a shower and while your in the shower make it your time of gratitude. think of 5 things you are grateful for and add it on a list in your bathroom, whiteboard markers on your mirror..
my friend told me that even when im at home have a daily planner, because "no plan at all is a plan for failure"
when she was getting off drugs she was stuck in a rehab house. and had this daily planner she would have o stick to, it was all laid out for the week, down to meals, excersize, phonecalls to friends, NA meetings, therapy, school work.
maybe you could try that too. I think im even giong to give it a go.
we could even e-mail and hold eahochther accountable for what we are doing?
im basically a hermit at home so im on the net heaps, im starting to write a book, and i only have therpay once a week. i feel like i need more than that, but my family r so over my shit that they just avoid it all. i dont know but just by writing these ideas down i have become a bit more motivated.
i really want to start this yoga course in july. you want to go to uni in september. i think its all doiable,as long as you have support in london.. or can continue your recovery plans.
another thing is in the evenings, if you dont sleep it gets harder, so theres ways to conquer that as wlel.
making your bedroom a beatiful haven. and readin something in bed.
look, you really want this, so you will get it.
if you haven't watched the secret you should go out and rent it today. nevermind your school work, maybe thats bad advice ha.
but you can do this. its hard sometimes, really hard, but you can get out of this cycle. it is doable. people recover all the time from this.
whats your email.
your amazing, your supportive, and you can do this.
put on your favourite music. look at your bows and your jewlery box and everything you like, dont worry about this morning, dont write today off. start with your meal plan now, and dont give up.
my therapist says 50% is hunger and 50% is emotions. if you can knowck out 50% by doing you meal plan then it takes out half the work.
im here for you, for real.
loubie
Post a Comment