My reflection

Today was making me want to curl up in a ball and cry. I went to my doctors earlier, and ended up telling him lots of stuff, yknow when it all just comes spilling out. And it was like it was pounding its way out of my head. I didnt have time to get myself straight before i had to see my CPN, who gave me the same old rubbish about waiting lists for therapy, etc etc etc.

And the glorious benefit system has once again managed to mess up-for one, i hate the fact that i have to claim in the first place, but my doc has finaly got me to accept in not really in a state to work right now...and i swear the social security system works my every last nerve.

Anyway i had a good cry about it all, and now i feel a bit calmer and together. A little while ago, i caught sight of myself in the mirror. And i had to look back at what i saw-

A girl, bit on the short side, who is neither underweight or particulary overweight(even though i think im as fat as houses most of the time). Im wearing a quirky little dress, and im smiling cos i think it looks good. The first thing i noticed wasnt my stomach, or the shape of my face, or my thighs. It wasnt my smudged eyeliner,the tiny scare under my left eye, or my blotchy face from crying. It was the fact that i still looked like i fight left to give. I've got this funny little half smile on my face, and my eyes look all wide, and its a shock-but the thing is-this is what i look like. And actually its not all that bad. Its just the look ive got on my face, like i could seriously give it some, that theres nothing that you cant sort out if you really try.

just caught me unaware is all.

SCREW YOU ED COS I ROCK!!!!and you can just sod off!

xxx