I have just tried on all my clothes
NOTHING BLOODY FITS!!!
my shorts which were nice and lose no longer do up.
ok, look heres the thing.and this isnt ED talking here. im not underweigt, in fact, im overweight-my BMI also agrees with this. Im a size 14. im not petite by any means. The thing is, i want to loose weight so i feel more comfortable.I dont like being the short fat girl. But then Ed grabs hold of that idea and gallops away with it. and then instead of me aiming to be a healthier weight, Ed convinces me that i need to be 'viewed via microscope' only size.
And yeh, i get that i just not built that way.im a curvy gorl through and through, and when im a little smaller, i feel happy with that.thats just me.
But this weight has crept up on me from not purging anywhere near as much as usual over the last few weeks. And i want to be better, but im not gonna lie-i am not down wth the weight gain, when i was overweight to start with.does that make sense?please dont just tell me this is ED talking. i just want to be a healthy weight, and at the moment my weight is not that healthy. it just happens that im overweight, as opposed to underweight. This is just a 'i want to be better, but i hate that it means putting on evem more weight' thing. I REALLY jneed someone to understand this, cos noone ever does.My CPN looked at me like i was a crazy person, and my doc just laughs at me.
it all comes back to the sodding shorts.and the fact that nothing fits right now.and even apart from my clothes-obsessiveness, its really annoying because it REALLY hurts the wounds and scars on my tummy to wear tight stuff right now.so them im having a g=fit trying to get dressed in the mornings.
i wish i was someone else
Irregular Choice Festive Footwear 2022: Day 20
3 years ago
Posts
3 comments:
I am having trouble with some things not fitting anymore since my scale got taken away. I am doing okay but not too happy with all of that yet. I wish I could just not eat crappy stuff! Funny thing though, since I stopped weighing myself, I am happier. I do worry about putting on too much though. I'm sorry it's been an awful sounding day for you!
*hugs*
Sarah
I totally understand. A few months ago in recovery my Mum said I was definitely putting on weight, and I went up a dress size - I felt uncomfortable in all my clothes - not because of the ED because they were physically too small. And it made me super angry and upset. I wanted to loose a little weight, work out a little more to become toned and healthy. I really understand.
BUT here is the annoying thing...I started being healthy and BAM ED is back... so if you do start working out healthily/eating healthily you have to REALLY monitor yourself, or you will end up like me, back at square one.
I hope you're okay...thinking of you lots.
Thank you for another fabulous comment :D :D :D
xxx
I totally understand how you feel and I don't think you're crazy.
And honestly my best advice for right now is just to get different shorts. Which is a pain and costs money and I hate having to give in and get bigger sizes. But the thing for me is that I can't try to lose weight. At all. It just ends up spiraling out of control. And the thing is that everyone's body is different and has different weights at different times in people's lives. And there's nothing wrong with that. And BMI is a lot of crap. People can have "unhealthy" BMIs and be perfectly healthy. So don't let that alone drive you. And the thing is that you may have some more weight now but once you give your body time with not purging and eating regularly, I think it will settle back to a weight that might be more comfortable for you.
xoxo
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