TRIGGER WARNING
i just cut again and dont know what to do and i dont know how to stop.its the only thing that makes it ok-cos i deserve to hurt.i do.and thats what makes it better, and its the only thing that lets the tension out.
ive purged so much today i passed out.i came to and i hadnt a clue what was going on.i feel ill.cut isnt bad, but what makes it bad, is that i wish it was.i need it to be as bad as it can be so i feel ok.
i think ive lost it.
xxxx
Irregular Choice Festive Footwear 2022: Day 20
3 years ago
Posts
7 comments:
Did the hospital suggest any form of support for you after the last time when you went in for self harm? I know you see your GP but do you get any regular therapy? Really sounds like you need more support than you're getting. You don't deserve to hurt hun. I know how desperate it can feel when it feels like the self harm and purging are out of control yet at the same time it's so difficult to stop.
*hugs*
Take care,
Cassie x
Hey hun. Sorry I have been distant. Been going through hell.
This worries me. Can you go in patient? Cutting can get way out of hand then depression gets worse and eating disorder worse. You are spiraling and you need more serious help at this point.
I haven't self mutilated in years but it was hard to stop without professional help and intense therapy. Please get more serious help that you deserve. You don't deserve to hurt!
((hugs))
Brandee
You do NOT deserve this pain, and it sounds as though you really need more intensive support. This sounds really dangerous, is there any possibility that you could go back to your GP and get a referral? For hospital perhaps? There must be some kind of help out there...are there any centres for respite care? I know there was one in Sheffield where people could go and stay for a few days if it all got too much...
Wish I had the solution, I really wish I did.
Hugs
Sarah x
Hi hun. First - you completely and utterly 1000000% do NOT deserve pain.
Also the first thing that comes to my brain is that maybe you should go in patient in hospital for a while. I know you hate it there, but you'll be safe there, and maybe having time away from your house will help you calm a little.
Also you posted a while ago about the drugs, with you in such a painful place at the moment maybe you should take them just until everything calms down.
Email me soon, I need to know you're okay.
xxxxx
Hon, please, please go to the doctor. If you are feeling like this, it isn't safe for you to be there by yourself.
I'm really, really worried about you.
xoxo
I used to think I deserved to hurt..I couldn't stop cutting or throwing up. Hang in ok. Hang in b/c there's hope. You'll find your way out. I did...you will too. Sarah
ive loved reading your blog because i go through similar things! i hope things start to look up for you. meanwhile -- electrolytes!!!
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