somehow, i just cant help thinking that all this has been for nothing.
its the constant 'why am i this way' that does my head in.
maybe, all there actually is to it is this-im just a (slightly) neurotic gril with (slightly) low self esteem, who happened to be in the worng to place one to many times.
Im 26.and all i have achieved is making my mothers issues my own.
im not being despondant.im simply looking out how it really is.
The thing with growing up from with ed, since i was like, on solids, is that i dont know what MY choices would necessarily been.in a different family, would i have been the same way?
you know what?it really doesnt matter anyway.
cos the only way im going to live my life is to look beyond all of this.
like i said, i cant help thinking this has all been for nothing. maybe i would have just ended up here anyway.
cos life, at the end of the day, is just life.
Irregular Choice Festive Footwear 2022: Day 20
3 years ago
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2 comments:
The thing is that you can't ever know what things would have turned out like if you had a different family and you just have to go with what you have. Which isn't the best. But you have done more than make your mum's issues yours. You've fought so hard not to let them become your own and you haven't given in to ED. And you've gone to college and are working toward being a physio and have been a wonderful amazing friend to so many people. I wonder too sometimes how things would have turned out if my family had been different, if I would have still ended up with ED, but the thing is, we'll never know. And all we can do is keep going on with what we have.
I basically second all that Jessie has said. You seriously are a wonderful friend.
You are NOOTTTT only a "Neurotic girl with low self esteem." You are so, so much more, you have SO many wonderful qualities.
xxxxx
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