A post that has the sole purpose of telling everyone how brilliant i am.me modest??!!

Ok, so 2nd day on the unit, and i was all ready to have an absolute eppy about how little i was allowed to drink yesterday. I was soo dehydrated yesterday and it really upset me. Like, im willing to admit that I drink a lot, possibly more than they would call 'normal'.ok def more than they would call normal.see, i can be reflective! but it annoyed me that they just assumed it was to avoid food-its not, i genuinely feel thirsty a LOT, and as it just comes straight out of me (ask any of my friends how many pee breaks i need during the averagephone call!), and has actually been a lot worse since i had the catheter back in the summer.

But figuring throwing a fit wouldnt go down to well, as would being caught necking water out of the tap in the loo's (i was desperate, dont laugh) i thought the best thing would be to try mighty damn hard with food today then broach it again.

Heres what i ate today (be proud, this is more than i ate in the entirity of last week, and possibly the only day ever of 'correct' eating in my life. i think it should be a natuonal holiday in honour. Vickilovesbows day. i like it. anyway, i digress.)

Breakfast- bowl cornflakes, slice of toast with one teaspoon of flora, and one of jam, glass of orange juice and 200mls of milk. Had to drink half the milk (grim) cos was too much for my cereal.

Midmorning snack - very milky coffee and 2 digestive biscuits (fruit delivery hadnt arrived yet, this is normally the afternoon snack)

Lunch  - Cheeseflan (ewwww i even hate the word flan), brocoli and roast potatoes. We get 25 mins to eat the main course at lunch time, and if you dont finish, then it counts as restriction. I really struggle with the meal time boundaries-mostly because a lot of the food is new to me and im so self conscious with everyone else. I managed all but about a third of the flan before the time was up. They werent too impressed with this-but im quite proud of that actually- i ate something id never had before, that i thought was horrible, and with a lot of other people. For pudding we had to have a large serving of crumble, with 2 blocks of icecream-sooo much, but i managed to force it down-and ive never eaten crumble before either, so thats pretty good.

Afternoon snack- I had an apple and a glass of water.

Dinner- I have a cheese sandwich and a salad which i got made at the unit for this eve, then i just have to have an evening snack from the 'single snack' list.

I got a glass of water with each meal/snack apart from breakfast, and managed to negotiate that i was allowed one extra glass of water between breakfast and lunch, and from lunch to the end of day at the unit. which still seems ridiculous, but a bit better.

The bad side of this is that i have never felt so disgustingly huge, fat and guilty in my life.

BUT-im really proud of myself. I havnt been sick, not once, not even in the evenings when im back home. I did fuck up a bit last night, and cut my arm a little-but managaged to stop myself before it got more than a scratch.

So, at the risk of being a horrid brag, im so damn proud of myself. but also a little ashamed of the fact that i need to be proud of this, yknow. its weird. the unit is weird. The other girls are really nice, very friendly, and genuinelly tried to make me feel more comfortable on my first day, and talked about how they handled it at first. popular saying at mealtimes when someone is struggling is to say - 'just think its your medicine-you NEED it', which actually kind of helps.

If anyone would like a copy of my maintenance meal plan from the unit, or the single/double snack lists for ideas, leave your email in the comments book and i will send it to you, cos its pretty helpful.

xxx