This makes v little sense to me, seeing as at half nine I was ready to sleep for about a year ( actually to be fair, i felt like this at 8am when i got up too!), and its now nearly 1am and I'm still awake, have been laying in bed since half ten thinking not very nice things.This wouldnt be so much of a problem if I didnt have to be up in not very many hours time to get to Uni. I cant miss anything else before i have the time off to go IP from next week or il never catch up again.
possible reasons why I cant sleep
- im all hot and bothered. Yes, im well aware its january, but my body inexplicably thinks its the height of the summer season in magaluf or similar.
- I have severe anxiety related brain ache.
- I have the worlds worst tummy ache
- cannot work out of stomach ache is due to my stomach lining dissolving and finally giving up on me after an awful purge session (massive dinner fail), or because i am hungry. either is equally likely. dont you just love the fucked up-ness of eating disorders...like, im in crazy pain, i could be about to die, or i could just be hungry, gee i cant really tell anymore!
- im dreading practicals at uni tomorow. we are doing hip examination, which is going to involve a lot of people seeing a lot of my scars. Funtimes.
- I have a tone of prep to do before my clinical visits this week, but my brain refuses to work.
- I think im hungry. could really fancy some cheese and beans on toast...gaaaaah.but my tummy HURTS. how can i think i want food when it hurts this much. possibly, someone has tampered with my brain.
- I feel like-and think-that in between the time i got in to bed, and now i have gained about 2 stone. I feel ginormous.
- did i mention that i think im hungry?
- Im REALLY scared about starting at the unit next week.
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