im joking, clearly.
4th appointment with the clin psyc from the EDS, supposedly to talk about coping strategies, but actually turned into 'shit i think we should actually admit you'. I gave her my discharge summary from A&E and she got all worried and started talking about a crisis admission to the inpatient ED unit. This might have been because i caved and told her the unedited version of the number of times im making myself sick at the moment. She wanted me to go back to A&E about the chest pain-but they wont DO anything-cos the symptoms are only there when im purging, and there not exactly gonna make me throw up so they can do an ECG of that. So compromise-she went off and got one of the docs from the inpatient ward to talk to me, who took bp etc, and said i needed to rest, lots. and try mighty hard to cut the vomitting down. she asked lots of questions about the blood im throwing up, and said im actually meeting all the criteria for an admission on medical grounds, as well as being in 'acute psychiatriac crisis;-erm, thanks, i think. I've been having a rough week-lots of flashbacks, and worrying about being back at uni, and exam results and stuff, and not sleeping and all the stuff with my friend really getting to me. anyways, once i stopped crying long enough to explain this (and had been fed some diazepam-thanks) we cam up with a weekend plan. Decided that being admitted to the ward when in crisis not a good plan as getting through a crisis normally involves me wanting to be in my own space-i think i went a bit more nuts last time i was in hospital. I dont think ive cried as much as i have today, ever. weird.
So weekend plan is home treatment team, and a doc visit tomorow to check my bp and chest, and i had to agree to really strict guidlines on when id call HTT or go to A&E. Apparntly severe anaemia and vomitting isnt a good combo for your heart-the anaemia means its working extra hard to get blood around, and the puking just puts more strain on it. I feel pretty bloody crap actually, with all the physical stuff creeping up on me. Clin Psyc is gonna phone one monday and talk about new plan with me-cos they dont think i can be on the waiting list for the day unit that long-it would be at least summer by the time i was near the top, so i think im going to go on to the ward to try and lessen the being sick, and then be seen in outpatients until can get into the day unit.
shit all this is actually quite scary
xxx
Irregular Choice Festive Footwear 2022: Day 20
3 years ago
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2 comments:
You are definitely in my thoughts and prayers. I'm sorry that you are in such a horrible place right now, and I hope that you can get the help you need. Please take care of yourself and try to listen to what the professionals are telling you. Keep reaching out for help!
Sending {{{HUGS}}}
Just been catching up. Massive hugs for the past few days - so much seems to be happening. It seems to be a good thing that you decided to fight the BPD diagnosis (and yey for the Cornish dude sticking up for you :) ).
The day unit sounds like it could be good, if that turns out to be an option. It might help to ease you feelings round food, and show you what to eat?
I'm really worried about your chest pains. :S Please take care??
I realise all this is scary, but it sounds like you are finally getting through to them to get the necessary help - or at least that's what I gather from the last couple of posts - but sorry if my interpretation is wrong! The clin psyc sounds reasonable (and I hope she is!)..just.....you can do this :) You can you can you can.
Sending you all my love, and uni will be fine. I have this friend, and years ago he always tell me to repeat "I'm a big brave dog. I'm a big brave dog.." in times of ickyness. I think it's what Chucky used to say on the Rugrats... ;)
Much love to you. xxx
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