Honesty...getting real

you get me?!sorry, couldnt help myself.

ok, so honestly, its not quite as rosy as people think right now.
so, actually honestly, this is how i am...cos really, whats the point in lying to yourself...

I feel hideously fat.Im sorry, i just feel horrid through and through. But I know its really some twisted ED thing, why im feeling this so acutely right now...so just have to work on telling Ed to go jump.

Sore. Had a few issues with self injury recently, re above. And know i need to let my doc have a look, but, not so much.

My throat and stomach kill right now. This is entirely self inflicted, yes, but hey, if im being honest, cant really ignore it. So also need to tell doc this has got a lot worse..but its so hard to deal with telling him these things, i hate to let him know that im messing up even more.

scared.cos if i dont get to talk through some of this stuff soon, i dont really know how im going to hold it together for much longer.

But, hey, im like totally fine, yeh.

xxx