Christmas on my terms

I feel like i havnt written on here for ages.I think i ran out of things to say, because i was feeling like i was stuck in quicksand, yknow.

But this year is going to be christmas my way. No negativity from my family(there is a definate advantage in them living abroad!), no being forced into christmas dinner cos its tradition (dont get me wrong, im not being pro-not eating here, i just dont want to feel bullied into food that i dont want), i can have what I want to eat, and no forced happyness because 'its christmas therefore we must all love eachother amen'.

So im going to spend the day in a pro-recovery way, that is, im going to do things that are good for ME. I'm going to read my favourite book, and go for a walk on the beach. I'm going to talk to my best friends on the phone, and not feel guilty for indulging ina day alone, when the rest of the world thinks you should be with people, just cos its christmas. Theres a diffenece between being lonely and being alone. Cos yeh, i do feel lonely a lot, but thats because i isolate people, not because i dont have people that care.I just like to spend time alond, not even in an Ed way, i just find it relaxing and calming yknow. I'm going to try and stick to my foodplan, and try not to bully myself, and try to ignore ED if this doesnt happen.
And im not going to drink the bad things away into nothingness.

i guess im going to try out being me for a day :)

Happy Christmas

xxx