Distraction

Needed big time. I met up with a friend i havnt seen for a long time today. Was really good to see her, was kinda anxious about it, but was lovely to catch up, she has me nearly wetting myself with laughter-and some things never change-and theres only one Nic!
Now im back home, and I was so pleased with myself earlier, cos we went and had Tapas in town, and i ate a bit, and it was ok. I find it very difficult to eat in front of people, but then me and nic have been in some very peculiar situations together, so could have been worse!

Anyway now im back home, and im struggling. Had some dinner, as was hungry, but now i feel guilty as hell...im so fat, i shouldnt be making it worse, and i ate earlier..but then theres this thumping in my head saying i need to eat to recover, but Ed shouting louder giving me hell.Help.Im trying so so hard not to purge, but i cant get any space from Ed, and im starting to feel desperate.AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGG FFS I HATE THIS

xxx