i feel like the biggest bitch right now....

I feel like such a bitch right now. Housemates in the kitchen, which is opposite my room, with music on-its not mega loud but i can hear it pretty loud cos my rooms so close, and i could feel myself getting really wound up at them, so went and really nicely asked if they could turn it down a bit-which they did, straight away-but they all looked at me like i was a total freak for asking, and that it was this massive inconvienience. I know its reasonable to ask them, but theres no way of doing it without looking like a total killjoy, and now i feel like a massive bitch. The thing is, if id just left it, i would have got more and more pissed off, and that frustration would have turned on me (for being annoyed at something so petty) and i would have ended up having SI issues. So i know from that point of view i was right to say something, but i still feel like an idiot. and like a freak for having to rationalise wanting people to shut up!

when we first moved in, we couldnt really gage how loud was too loud with music and if the person next door could hear it. so im really carefull now, but im also mindful that i probably inadvertantly pissed people off with noise sometimes. So I now feel all anxious that they think im all double-standard-y. But i really need to study, cos i want to do well in these exams to prove to the uni that i should be here. but thats my probem, not theres. arggg feel really anxious. and its so silly. but i hate that ive prob annoyed them loads with my stupidness.

its things like this that make me think im never gonna make it through life.