i dont want to live, but i'm not sure if i wat to die?so where does that leave me?
im really scared about the new term at uni.im scared abut the half stone ive gained back, and im cared that im not going to get any help all over again.
i miss my mum-or the idea about what she should have been.couldhave been. I miss my old life, with ponies, but i made so many enemies whilst being ill i cant go back. my life is empty. the only hobby i want i sponies, and i ive recked it all because all the centres around where i live know me, and know what happened when i was at the top of my game, and how i bombed out. noone wants to know, will touch me with a barge pole.
its so upsetting. ive fucked everything up and its ALL MY FAULT. as usual. i want to cut right through me until there is nothing left. chance would be a fine thing. ive eaten so much over the last few days, having o have meals cos of compnay that if im not sick soon im going to go crazy batshit insane.
how do i save myself?or why would i even bother?
i want my pony back cos he was there when mum wasnt. and i want her to have given a shit.
Irregular Choice Festive Footwear 2022: Day 20
3 years ago
Posts
1 comment:
Maybe there's a way for you to still have your ponies without everyone else having a say or getting involved.. Maybe somewhere further out or something.. I know how you feel with wishing your mum cared, but I think sometimes to protect ourselves from more hurt we have to try and accept thats the way they've chosen to be and that hopefully off there own back there decide to be better parents. I'm sorry if this is all shit. Hope your okay. xox
Post a Comment