the thing about you is that you see me through...GO AWAY ED!

The trouble with Ed is that its ALWAYS watching, and waiting to kick you when your already going way down.
See the thing is, when you dont know any better, Ed makes all the bad stuff go away, and replaces it with something you can do-it makes the own rules to its game. Its almost like it offeres to save you, a trade off-its only a good few years down the line that you realise you traded your life away:(
Ed will take away the small stuff for a price- obedience, following the rules, playing its game...the thing is the big stuff, the stuff that tears you up inside out will cost you your life...sure ED will take it away from you. BUt it all accumulates and IT WILL come back like a ton of bricks.I HATE YOU ED, i cant get away from you.But im scared to break your rules, because what will be left of me then?
How can you start to seperate your life from EDs control, when you dont even know who you are without ED? I want out soo bad.but right now Im terrified.

I guess i just have to put my foot down.GO AWAY ED and leave me the hell alone.

xxx