scared and freaking out

Ok, so last night was actually the best day of my life ever (apart from the day i got my first pony sam. but that is the ONLY exception, and only because sam was an absolute lege) because i went to see kings of leon at hyde park, and we all know exactly how much i love KOL, more specifically, mr caleb followill.

what scares me is how quickly you can come smacking back down to life. I dont mean, that i had a good time, and now i feel a bit blah, cios the thing i was looking forward to has gone-although it did help having this masssive incentive. I mean, I feel so fundamentally fucked-i cant think of another word. Im so scared about everything that is going on right now-i have like a week left in halls, no money (lost my student finance cos im taking the next year out for the day unit) and hence nowhere to live. I cant get help from the council, as im not enough of a connection to the local area, and not vulnerable enough. I also cannot seem o stop eating, which is getting ridiculous now. i just keep eating. and puking and then eating again. as im being sick, im thinking of what i can eat next, which aint that helpful when your food is supposed to last another week, and youve finished all of it. shit.

so its not that im ungrateful for the amazing fabulous cant beat it ever time that i had last night-its just that now i dont really know where to go from here.