like really. im so confused. i appear to now have a lot of pro ed followers. Now, i fully acknowledge that im not exactly a recovery role model - and im very much stuck in my disorder. i get that. but i dont WANT it. i dont want any of it. its just better than dealing with all the trauma in my head. My therapist doubts how long id be alive if i gave up all my behaviours right now. but that doesnt mean that i dont know they arent true solutions, that it isnt just another way of keeping it all in. but you have to be in a safe place to work through it all, and i am currently not.
it really hurts me that people think i want to be this way. and i dont mean any of what i wrote to encourage anyone with their ED/SI in any way.
Irregular Choice Festive Footwear 2022: Day 20
3 years ago
Posts
3 comments:
:S
If it's any comfort, I've never once considered your blog to be 'pro', or that you want any of this.
Personally, I don't find your blog 'encouraging' in a negative way - in no way do you ever portray or promote that "this is a brilliant way to cope".
I just see you. Yes, the ED and SI are prevalent on the blog, but I still just see you, if that makes sense. And you're honest on here, which in a way allows us to see how you really are, because we care about you. Sometimes we need a place where we don't have to hide stuff. I don't want you to pretend to be ok if you're not.
I know I can't fix things, and that I'm rubbish at advice or useful stuff (other than telling you you are a snork or mouse...ahem), but I want to know how you are really, and you never paint ED/SI in a positive light.
Your blog is not 'pro'.
I just want to give you a massive hug.
ps. a FLUFFY BUNNY?? wtf?? There should have been Scalextric or something in there.... Or Stickle Bricks. Damn, I loved stickle bricks...specially the attachable eyes (damn painful to stand on,though, what with all the stickles....)
xxxxx
Your blog doesn't seem pro-ed at all. It sounds like you are in a lot of pain, and are only venting about it. I can tell that you want things to be different.
I wouldn't worry about the pro ED followers, I have A LOT of them too, I think it's just a lot of pro ED'S want to read anything to do with it. Your blog is so obviously not pro considering how much you bash your eating disorder.
Loveee
xxx
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