the guinea pig baby you are secretly keeping in halls (i mean, you have to have SOMEONE to talk to!) scratches you to shite, and all your tutors assume you have been playing with razorblades....
on the plus side, i got a first for my OSCE the other day (clinical skills exam) and a 2.1 for the exam i did in December, about 5 weeks after i did ridiculous amounts of damage to my femoral artery. I mean, theres having a bad day, and then theres that. which is a bit of a bastard, cos now i can never actually use the 'having a bad day' excuse for messing anything up- i mean a 2.1 could have been better (thats pretty much a fail to me. i only deal with firsts and A's), cos at that point i was still so swollen i looked pregnat and was crying 24/7 with the pain. and leaking weird fluid stuff(actualy more like gushing) every bloody 5 mins. and had about half my normal blood volume. This isnt an attemot to be all like 'ooh look at me i managed to do 'x' when i was broken-more that im thinking-fuck, 'well i dont know how that i managed that, but i can never fail anything now'.
i love how my brain never just lets me be.
xxx
Irregular Choice Festive Footwear 2022: Day 20
3 years ago
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2 comments:
Well done on your results, but I just wanted to say you are NOT defined by a grade and by marks. You are worth so much more than that.
xxx
Hello moi lover (said in Cornish-ness :) ),
I have been equally quiet too - my brin-plug seemed to have disconnected itself from the 'communication' node (node?? Is that the right terminology?).
Hmm. Firstly, congratulations on the grades! But I see where you are coming from with the "now I can't fail anything" thing, and how that can add extra pressure.
I guess, we have to look at each circumstance as a unique moment, with different factors playing into it. I'm not saying you WILL fail (or get a lower result) at some point, but it's ok if you do. Sometimes I think we need to relax a little with our expectations of ourselves. Not that I'm saying we should entirely kick back and never go to class, but I guess to be gentler with ourselves, and to give ourselves permission to possibly screw a module up every now and then. I've found the removal of expectations makes the learning this more enjoyable (and surprisingly more productive!).
I'm probably not talking sense. I can't even use the "It's 3am and my brain is boggled" excuse :P
What I see is someone who IS capable, though. You have the knowledge and the ability to learn and the dedication. I think you just need to have a little more faith in yourself, to kind of replace those "Oh crap now I can't even fail" thoughts with "I can do this: I'm actually good at this" thoughts.
Alternatively, you could stuff a pipe cleaner between your ears to give that bit o' brain what never lets you be a good ol' clean out ;)
I hope you're good, missus. I have 50 pages left of the final Harry Potter to read and I DON'T WANT IT TO END!!!! I am a proper convert...
xxxx
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