nothing to this

there is literally nothing to my life right now. I get out of bed, I cry because i cant stand another day of feeling this low and tired and awful and then I brush my teeth, wash and have another meltdown trying to find something to wear that I feel sort of comfortable in. Take my meds and have a slice of toast and a glass of juice. feel guilty about this for the next 2 hours + and cry on the sofa. and time just drags endlessly on all day. i'm on holiday from Uni at the moment, and doing bits if housework, washing, and sort of doing bits of work when i can make my brain work, is overwhelmingly exhausting. Its nothing but it feels like everything. oh god oh god. im so worn out, and im just barely functioning. Then i spend a lot of time worrying about what i am going to eat in the evening, then a whole lot more energy trying to not throw it back up. which i quite often end up doing, because I'm basically really crap.

I'm so lonely. but i am no company right now. I feel so isolated.

I'm better than i have been previously with the eating disorder-its not great by any means, but i have been worse. But i feel totally crippled by depression right now-i feel like its squeezing the life out of me.