so, for the last week I've had this pretty much continuous flashback playing through at the back of my head, like background noise. It just wont go away. I'm having this constant fight to not just continuously zone out and tune into it...and trying to keep on doing anything is really hard.
Then in group today my head just melted and i couldnt keep pushing it back anymore. literally ended up a soggy crying crumbled heap. I couldnt stop for so long, i didnt know where i was, what i was doing, who was with me, anything, i just felt lost. It took a long time to get back from that, and now, i think, well what happens if i cant get back from it on my own? What happens if i just lose it totally?
Irregular Choice Festive Footwear 2022: Day 20
3 years ago
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3 comments:
I don't think you're going to lose it totally, even if it may feel like that...
I've been reading your blog for so long and finally created one myself. I see you as an incredibly strong woman. You've been through so much and look how far you've come this past year! Be proud!
hey Johanna :)
thankyou so much. it means a lot to me that you wrote on here :)
Im glad you started a blog. i think it really helped me start figuring out how to talk about things. its helped me so much. sometimes i cant think why people would read all my waffle, but it helps so much to start being heard. I dont think i ever really thought that people did read it!
i hope that you are ok. and thanks - what you said means a lot xxx
I am contacting you as a recovery blogger, hoping that you might be able to help me with something. I'm looking for people who experience their ED or "ED voice" as female, or something other than the usual "Ed" image, to share written reflections (stories, letters, poems, or whatever) based on that personification. I've noticed that people in recovery are reluctant to refer to their eating disorders as female, to separate themselves from pro-ana/pro-mia groups. I want to "reclaim" female personifications from the pro-ED camp by publicizing recovery-oriented descriptions of a female ED, to make these descriptions just as much a part of recovery dialogue as the popular (male) "Ed" image. Other images that broaden the (currently rather narrow) scope of available metaphors are also welcome! I hope you will consider writing something, and/or share this information with others who might want to contribute. I can be reached at reclaimingana@gmail.com, and more information is available at http://reclaiminganaandmia.blogspot.com/
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