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I hate tonsillitis. I get full blown, actual tonsillitis twice a year, once in the summer, and once around about now, and have done for years. and yet the stupid NHS still insists that its too risky to take the bloody things out of my throat.
im really struggling with everything at the moment. I feel like im not really ill, more like just utterly stupid, and therefore should not have been taken up IP space on the ward, and now shouldnt be in day care. i mean, all i have to do is not puke. why cant i just DO THAT? i feel like im not ill compared to the others in day care-they have all, or are needing to put on weight from anorexia. and them being small, and me being, well, anything but, is really making me feel crap. Like i did this all wrong-well i know its ALL wrong, but i couldnt even do what my mum wanted-me to lose weight. im talking in confused circles right now, but i could really do with some blog love please?
xxxxx
Irregular Choice Festive Footwear 2022: Day 20
3 years ago
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6 comments:
blog love...its here. love u blud. you are ill, you didnt take up space you would have been forced to be ip if you didnt agree. and it isn't just about not puking there's the thoughts, the self harm, the knowing what to eat and then eating. masses of stuff. keep at it you sound from ur last post that your doing really well.
((((hugs))) lots of love xxx kim
Blog love coming to you <3
Having had swollen and painful tonsils for the past 7 months(month 8 now....nearly 9)you have my empathy. I have just given up even mentioning to my docs as last time I got told there was nothing they could do so why was I wasting their time and appointments...
You know as well as anyone that getting a place and help off the nhs is bloody difficult, and they definately only give it to those who need it(defo fail fuck loads of more people). It probably feels quite alien to be in IP first they day care now. But please do stick with it. its about so much more than the behaviours, its about giving you a chance to get the skills to live the life that is waiting for you-uni and all that shizzle(did I really just say shizzle?)
Whats the support like for dealling with all the head thoughts and the such?I hope something!
I know it is difficult but please dont be so hard on yourself! If it was so easy to "just stop puking" then bulimia wouldn't be the epidemic that it is. And you dont have to LOOK sick to be really, REALLY sick. You deserve that IP space just as much as anybody else.
XOLisa
Thinking of you Vics, hugest ever *hugs*
Sarah
Blog love! Your stronger than I.
Sending Love your way! Good karma will come to you eventually.
H
XX
HB
You do deserve to be there. Bulimia is just as serious as anorexia. Keep holding on. xx
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