a stream of thoughts...

fuck

i want to restrict so much

later ...later ...later...you can eat later....

Never...

FUCK

im being clouted around the head with eating disorder thoughts...

more and more recently they have been 'restrict', rather than 'be sick'

Bang Bang Bang goes my head...no food for you....your too fat..your outsized, your hideous...

FUCK OFF

i need to eat...

I need to breathe

I need to LIVE

Leave me alone

Im stronger than you

i dont need you

i can talk now

repeat x 1000

im more than this

i can be more than this

i dont need this

repeat x 1000

thin wont make me happy

it doesnt mean anything

i just have to keep fighting this...

i want to be thin

i want to be tiny...



NO

breathe

breathe

breathe

it doesnt get me anywhere

not really

apart from

inpatient stays

dates with dieticians

day unit visits

not a real life

i need to







LIVE

FIGHT

BE

BREATHE




Its just a blip

i dont have to be this

(but sometimes i want to be) -

NO!

BREATHE

LIVE

MOVE ON


You can be more than a wasted life

I can be more than a mental illness



dont eat....
dont eat...,
dont eat....

repeat x 1000



this is my head right now


it fucking hurts



NO


FIGHT IT


but im too tired now


help



......