Discharge from Day treatment

Next week is my last few days on the day unit, with Thursday being my last day.

I'm still trying to ignore this fact.

It's not like things haven't changed - so many things are different now. I can't remember the last time I made myself sick - and it used to be averaging around 50 times a day this time last year. Its been a year since i self harmed. I've got a flat - and I've lived here for  year, which is the longest ive been settled anywhere for so long. I've got a part time job, a total lege of a horse on part loan, and I'm going back to uni in a few weeks time. I FEEL better. Things are ok.

The thing about having spent so long in the day unit (13 months) is that not only am i attatched to the routine of it, im going to miss the team so much too. They have been completely brilliant and gone out of their way so many times. I've got used to talking to them all when things are hard, and just the day to day banter of it all. I mean, my keyworker spends most of the time taking the mick out of me, and its just all the comfortableness of having people around, and feeling part of something - and the thought of leaving the safety of that for days on my own is really worrying me. I know i have friends to see, but the unit has become my main connection - and before i went into treatment, i had plans, and was seeing people and doing things - and i still felt so awful i wanted to die. Im worried im going to go straight back to that, no matter how i try and plan my time, and food and all the rest of it.

So, i want to leave. The groups drive me up the wall, im so bored of talking about food all day, and in a way, ive outgrown the unit. Its just I dont really want to go either.